feel like i cried my heart out, end of day 1

Well, it’s 3:25 am. I’m exhausted! AND MAD AT MYSELF. well not really, i kind of don’t care. I was talking to my sister for awhile but before that there were a series of events.

At work, i managed not to indulge in the fresh cinnamon rolls my boss made. The only thing i had there was this mini container of ben & jerry’s (230! ugh) and popcorn… a lot of popcorn, while watching the movie deck the halls with the kiddies. I kind of felt like my stomach was expanding! Well anyway, the rest of my night at work was smooth sailing. I left work and went to pick up my friend who had a rough night. I then proceeded to pick up another friend and then there was another friend who joined us at applebees! (dun dun dun). So for blogging purposes i’m going to call these people, Andrea, Amanda, and Kenny.  So we’re sitting at a table and I told myself, just drinks! no food. I got this frozen lemonade with bacardi. REALLY GOOD. sugary, but i was okay with that. great! but then came food… we ended up splitting this pretzel and dip… AND boneless wings. I also ordered another drink.

So before I go on about beating myself up about this, I wanna think about my emotions at the time.

So Andrea and I are in similar situations when it comes to men… well, it’s torturing us. I kept quiet about my situation but Andrea was talking about her situation with this guy and kenny, amanda and i are giving her advice and listening, and then I stopped to think about mine. I kind of got depressed about it, then angry and all of sudden I had this desire of junk, and so with out hesitation, i dived into the appetizers.

Alright, so CLEARLY, i’m an emotional eater. damn it. I really need to stop going out to the bar, and restaurants to vent. I guess that’ll be my next step… avoid restaurants! Sucks, cause tomorrow i’m serving at applebees lol.

Anywho, even though I emotionally ate, it’s okay. I mean sucks because it’s only day one and I already fucked up, but tomorrow is a new day. I can only get better!

i’m fortunate to have good company around me… they are great listeners and lately that’s all I want. Just someone to listen to every ridiculous thing I wanna say whether it’s right or wrong or crazy. I need to vent! I was able to do that tonight with my ladies (kenny left at some point) and all of us just felt that we needed this chat.

Today was a great day, it had it’s ups and downs. I’m ready to start again tomorrow!
I’ll keep you posted, and thank you again for everyone’s support!

Good night ❤

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